Navigating Marriage With Amanda and Samuel: How Did Samuel Propose?
Hey guys, welcome to the Samuel and Amanda Show. We're your hosts, Amanda and Samuel Leeds. In this show, we talk about various money, marriage, and life topics from our standpoint. You can catch up with us by either watching us on Youtube, listening to our podcast, or reading our blog. And we urge you to leave any questions or comments on YouTube's comments section.
How Was The Past Week
“The week has been amazing,” Amanda answered, beginning to explain how the sunny weather has been good to us. “We've got some bifold doors in the playroom, and I've just had them open all week for the kids,” She continued to say, “They've just been going in and out of the house, playing with mud, making mud coffees.” And it's not just the kids who had all the fun. As Amanda revealed, we had lots of barbecues and hot tub relaxation. “It's felt like a holiday,” she remarked.
“The weather's been really good,” I agreed with Amanda and acknowledged that the hot tub was turning out to be one of our best investments. However, the week wasn't all paradise and bliss for me. On the property business front, so many things just seemed to go wrong.
Some deals fell through. And we had some builders in one of our ongoing projects walking off the job, demanding more money, which was a breach of contract. Just a few months ago, they gave me a quote and were now asking that I pay them more because “things have gone up” due to coronavirus. I hate how people are using COVID-19 as an excuse for everything. So I'm currently in the process of replacing them.
Amanda ordered a new electric car and had her Land Rover Discovery Sport taken away. But owing to a delay, she got delivered a proper mom car, which she'll be driving for the foreseeable future. It's a grey BMW 2 Series Active Tourer, which she says she had never seen on the road before but now sees it everywhere. “That's how it works. It's the law of attraction,” I said.
Questions and Comments From Last Week
“You two look like a very lovely couple. Amanda has a permanent pleasant smile, and there is a woman/wife/mother in her. I like the way she carries herself. She is beautiful on the face and also in the brain.”
― Lawrence Carlos
“Thank you very much for your compliment,” Amanda said with a smile. She does have a permanent smile. In last week's episode of the Samuel and Amanda Show, we discussed some of the nasty things people have said about Amanda. So I wanted the video's thumbnail to be when our faces appeared sad or solemn. But when I skipped through the video, it's as if Amanda was smiling during the entire video.
“Question for Samuel, what are your cooking skills like? And have you ever cooked a special meal for Amanda?”
― Andrea Harber.
First of all, Andrea, we love you. Second, good question. “Samuel doesn't cook,” Amanda answered, saying I've only ever made her egg on toast once. She also narrated how back when she was working full-time as a QS, there's a day I told her I'd have a nice dinner ready for her when she got home. However, she thought that meant I would prepare the meal myself, but I had actually ordered a roast dinner from Toby Carvery and plated it.
Back in school, I scored a D in food and nutrition. So, do I know how to cook? Not really. Before Amanda and I got married, I had a cook and a cleaner just because I've never been good at doing house chores. You could say I'm kind of dependent on Amanda for food. “And I'm happy to provide good food,” Amanda cut in. She's a great cook, by the way.
“It'll be lovely to hear about your two weddings sometime. Being a Ghanaian (not Guyana😊) and British who married an American, it was great to have the different ceremonies. We had three days of celebrations!”
Yes, Amanda and I had two weddings: an English white wedding and a Lobola ceremony. We consider the white wedding, which happened in July 2015, as when we officially became man and wife because we signed the marriage certificate then. We had the Lobola in January 2015, which is a ceremony where the groom's family gives the bride's family as a token of appreciation for raising a wonderful woman. As Amanda explained, it used to be paid in cattle but is today typically paid in cash.
When we started dating, Amanda told me the Lobola would be a small amount, but it was a significant sum. “They like made him go all out,” Amanda said, referring to her parents, “Thankfully, Samuel just came in and embraced it. And my parents loved that.” However, we obviously come from different cultural backgrounds. So when some members of my family heard about the Lobola, they thought Amanda's family was taking the mickey out of me. While it's the norm in Zimbabwean culture, bride price payment is unheard of in English culture.
But, to be honest, I wasn't bothered by it. Having been to Africa several times before getting married and interacting with people from different cultures, I was more understanding and open-minded to the Zimbabwean way of life. I also spoke to Amanda's brother about the lobola practice, and what I learned made a lot of sense. The long and short of it is Lobola is a thank you to the parents for investing in their daughter’s future, for example, paying for her education.
That said, Amanda's family also had some issues with me. Her dad, in particular, was not at all for the idea of her dating a white guy. He was yet to me at the time, so he didn't know the kind of man I was and that my only intention of pursuing Amanda was to make her my wife. So to put his mind at ease, I wrote him a long letter, where I introduced myself, expressed my intentions, and asked to meet him in person.
Fortunately, the letter was enough as Amanda's dad had a change of heart after reading it. It had such an impact that he called me and gave me his blessing to marry Amanda before he had even met me. And within a month of meeting him, we had the African wedding. “He's an action taker,” said Amanda of me.
“Hi Sam and Amanda. What is the best gift you’ve received from each other for your birthdays or wedding anniversaries?”
― Emmanuel C. Chijioke
According to Amanda, the best gift I've ever given her was a gift box with 365 days of notes, expressing what I loved about her. “It was just so sweet,” she said. So every day for a year, I secretly wrote down something that I loved about Amanda or something sweet that she had done on that day. I then put all the notes together in a box with drawers, which I gifted her. And although this was a gift for her, just doing it was a gift to myself.
“Samuel, how did you propose to Amanda? “
― Patricia Kilty
Continuing from the story about Amanda's dad, Amanda explained that her father and I first met during the Christmas period. So she didn't expect any marriage talk at that time. “Little did I know Samuel had asked for my dad's blessing to propose to me,” she revealed.
So on Christmas Eve 2014, in front of her family, Amanda narrated how I played a short video showing our memories together up to that point. And while she thought it was sweet, she couldn't help but wonder what her father was thinking. So as she sat there thinking, “where is this going,” I told her I had a gift for her that I wanted her to open despite it not being yet Christmas.
It was a nesting gift box, which meant she had to unwrap box after box after box after box. When she got to the innermost and tiniest of them, I took it from her, got down on one knee, and asked her to marry me. Her family had their phones out, cheering me on, while Amanda was balling her eyes out as she said yes. “It was just amazing. The best night ever,” Amanda said with joy in her eyes.
“And by that point, me and dad were best buddies,” I added. In fact, since then, we have been really close. “Since he's got to know you, he's loved you,” Amanda agreed. And I'm blessed to have great in-laws. “Your mum and dad are amazing, and they're really happy together as well,” I said in response, “I'm just really glad how it panned out. That was an answered prayer.”
“Do you frequently argue? And was there a point in the relationship where use nearly split up? How do you overcome things like this?”
Like we've said before in earlier episodes of the show, we don't argue, nor have we ever gotten to the point of nearly breaking up. If we don't agree on something, we discuss and talk things out. When you're on the same team with someone, it ceases to be about what you want and more about what is best for all parties involved. Even with my brother and business partner, Russell Leeds, we sometimes have differing opinions on things. But our discussions revolve around what's best for our family and the company, not our individual wants.
“Hi, Samuel, I have always wanted to date African woman but have never had the opportunity and courage. What's been your experience so far, and if you were to, God forbid, separate, would you ever be able to date, for example, an English woman since you are used to a different culture. You're a great couple, Amanda looks beautiful and Amazing.”
― Joe Williams
I love Amanda for Amanda. I don't see her as an African woman. When I look at her, I see her. Also, I can't imagine myself with anyone else. However, before meeting Amanda, I dated a few other women, of whom one was Indian. The Indian lady and I dated for six to 12 months, and she was a wonderful, beautiful lady.
I've also dated a white English lady, but that was a little bit of a nightmare. Story for another day. And that's it. I haven't had many relationships. The only other I could think of is when I was 12. When I met Amanda, I thought she was an amazing woman. I didn't get with her because of her race or her cultural background.
“How do you combine business and romance?”
― Tom Puijpe
“Interesting question,” Amanda said before sharing how when she left her corporate job to work in our property business, some people told her it was a bad idea to work with one's spouse. That's just silly because “if you're a team in your marriage or in your relationship, then you're a team in business as well” because you both want the same thing. I agree. Plus, just because we're working together doesn't mean we can't squeeze in some romantic gestures here and there.
Conclusion and Amanda’s Words of Wisdom
That was a lot of marriage talk. For more discussion on money, marriage, and life, stay tuned every Saturday for a new episode. And leave your questions in the comment section.
Words of Wisdom
Don't let things you can't control dictate your happiness. If you can't control it, don't stress about it.
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